Beaches, Blisters and Boy are my legs tired.

The reason for the long lay off is that I was on vacation last week. My wife and I, along with a couple of friends, went to the beach for a week. We had a great time and I even managed to get all but three miles of running in (I ran five to six miles every other day and bumped up some runs when we got back to make up the difference).

Contrary to the guys attitude in the above picture and what other people have said, running on the beach stinks. Thankfully, the weather was nice enough to where I was able to get most of my runs completed on asphalt without suffering from heat stroke or being forced to run on the beach where the wind made it much cooler.

Running on the beach probably could have been better if I would have been smarter and better prepared. While my wife and friends were laying out and drinking cold beverages, I decided to run my six miler on the beach that day. I put on my running shorts, running shirt and ipod and took off. If you look back over the items I took with me, you will notice I did not put on my running shoes. Nope. The genius that I am thought, "you can run barefoot, your a MAN, it will be tougher and it will be awesome."

I started the run at a pretty good pace, and even though it was twelve in the afternoon, the wind on the beach made for a mild temperature while running. I ran about a mile when I started to notice a slight burning sensation in my foot. I stopped for a second and washed it off with water and thought it was only a small cut. "Oh well", I thought and kept running. By the time I made it through the first three miles my other foot had started hurting as well. I completed the run and went over to my friends and wife to rest for a bit. It was then I noticed two huge bumps on both of my feet, under my big toes. I walked out into the Gulf and washed the sand completely off of my feet and noticed there were two huge, blood red blisters on my feet. "Great", I thought, "Looks like I screwed up the rest of my running for the week.

We went back to the condo and I treated the blisters and got them to go down in size. I took the next day of running off to heal them further. My next run went surprisingly well, and I was not even able to tell that I had two big blisters under my toes.

The other bad thing about running on the beach was dealing with all of the people getting in your way, or little kids who just start sprinting out in front of you without looking to see if the coast is clear. I almost dropped three toddlers, two tweens and a couple of old fat people during the course of my fifty minute run.

We came back home on Friday and I worked out then ran six miles (my schedule said four) that day in an effort to get my assigned miles in for the week. I ran an additional six (my schedule had four) on Saturday and my assigned twelve miles on Sunday along with another workout.

Yes, I can now run twelve miles without stopping, and I completed the run in under two hours.

Monday's track workout was the worst by far. When I arrived at the track the coach told us to complete 2 sets of 200 meters with a 200 meter recovery run, then 2 sets of 200 meters with a 400 meter recovery run. The final exercise was an 800 meter run with a lap recovery. He told me to hit my 200's in 49 seconds and to complete the 800 in 3:24. Even though my legs were blowing up from the extra running and twelve miles I did on the weekend before, I was able to complete everyone of the runs on time or earlier. The hardest part of the exercise by far was the sprinting for 800 meters....why would anyone ever want to do that?

When I finished the 800 meter run I went to the coach and said, "Alright. I am done. What do I do next, two cool down laps?" The coach smiled at me and said, "You're done? You still have to do three more sets of the exercise you just completed."

"Sh*&", I thought. "Are you fu$%ing kidding me" I said. "Nope. Get to it, you have a one lap recovery then start all over again" replied coach.

I turned around and started doing my recovery lap cussing the whole time. In fact, I did not stop cussing until I made it to the second set of 200's of the excercise I was completing. I found it became too difficult to think of other phrases involving the coach doing something to inanimate objects while at the same time trying to sprint my big ass off. By the time I finished the second 800 in 3:35 my legs were gone. I stopped to get some water and asked the coach whether he would be the one carrying my dead body off of the track when my heart and thighs exploded. "I was only kidding" responded coach, "everyone only has to do three sets, welcome back from vacation."

I would have been happier but the news meant that I still had to complete the exercise one last time. I sucked it up, completed the drills, and did the last 800 meter run in 3:28. Not bad for a fat boy with dead legs from running twelve miles the day before.

Tuesday's run was six miles and I worked out on my off day yesterday. I have to run seven miles today, four tomorrow, seven on Saturday and ten on Sunday. I will also be competing in the crime prevention five k next Tuesday at 6:30 p.m., August 4, 2009, over in Mobile. The coach told me to do it so that he could get an accurate pace for me and some tempo runs (running at a fast pace for a prolonged period of time) he is going to assign. Yippeee.

I also received my new schedule for August and I will be attempting sixteen miles by the last weekend in the month. Wish me luck, I will freaking need it.

Crop dusting at the track...

Well, it has officially happened. I have eaten the fart of another person. Nope, it was not done intentionally I assure you.

Yes, Monday night's track run was eventful for more than just running results. The coach had us do some new exercises this week. The first exercise was called 500's and consisted of doing a lap around the track plus another 100 meters at a fast pace. You then jog the remaining 300 meters as a recovery and do it all over again when you reach the 400 meter starting point. The Coach told me to finish my lap in 2.17. He told some other people who were with us to finish theirs in a slightly faster time. The Coach also cautioned us to not do the laps any faster than the assigned time (I think he was referring to me with his comment due to my tendency to start out to quick and blow up).

I have not yet learned how to pace myself by just running. So I decided to trail behind the aforementioned people and hit the finish line just after them to get my pacing down right. WOOOOFFFFFFFF, bad idea. The first 500 went great. We hit the time a little quick but we got the first one out of the way and started our recovery lap. I kept jogging and got ahead of the people I was pacing. Our positioning stayed the same until we came up to the starting point for the second lap. I decided to run behind them again, so I slowed down, changed lanes, and waited for them to pass me. As soon as they went by me I moved back over and got a big ole' mouthful of ass air. "Did one of those bastards just sh$# on me", I thought. "Either that or a bird just crapped in your mouth" my taste buds and nose responded back.

I choked through the next lap, hit my time, and decided to get away from the bad air. I ended up being one of the first ones done with the exercise and moved on to the second drill which consisted of doing six 200's like we did the prior week.

I busted those out pretty quick and ended the workout with a nice cool down of two laps. Including my warm up laps, I ran a total of five and half miles with roughly half of that being completed by sprints. Not too shabby.

I completed Tuesday night's run at the YMCA since I had a friend join me in my workout that night. I also tweaked a thigh muscle on Monday so I took it easy and just did a nice slow recovery run.

Wednesday was an off day, so nothing to report there. Tonight's run is six miles, Friday's is Four miles, Saturday's is six miles and Sunday's is ten miles. Hopefully I can get them completed and have me a bit of a recovery week while on vacation next week.

Nine miles down and american flag running shorts

I can officially run nine miles. That was the long run of the week and it went off with only a few hitches. I originally planned on running at 5:00am Sunday morning but my lack of sleep this weekend prevented me from being an early riser. Instead, I ran at 5:00pm in the evening and thanks to some storm clouds, did not suffer heat stroke.

The delay in running also allowed me to go to Foley and get some new running shoes. My original shoes have been wearing thin and I decided it was high time to get some shoes that were fitted for my foot. I went to Sports 'n More in Foley and was diagnosed with have pronation of the foot. Due to that condition, the shoe guy recommended a pair of Asics that were very comfortable. The bad news was they only came in two colors, white or black. Being the cool guy that I am I chose the black so that it would not be 100% obvious I was running in brand new bright ass white running shoes.

The shoes ran great and I completed my run in one hour and twenty four minutes. I had to finish the run without the assistance of my Nike Ipod Plus because I forgot to transfer the sensor over to my new shoes. That was kind of a pain because my original plan was to just get out of my car and start running. When I exited my car and started setting up my run on the Ipod, my female friend in my ear buds repeatedly stated "searching for sensor". Luckily I only made it about a tenth of a mile away before I realized my screw up. I jumped back into the car and mapped out a course that looped through Daphne, along the Bay, into some nice neighborhoods and back to my car for a total of nine miles.

I also purchased some new running shorts and under shorts at Walmart to deal with some of the problems my fat legs have been causing. They were on sale and I am glad I spent the time to look for some new gear. My runs on Saturday and Sunday were much more comfortable due to the purchase.

Saturday's run and workout were completed at the YMCA and I nailed my three mile run in twenty five minutes out at the "bowl" on Friday.

I completed Thursday's run at Centennial Park in Daphne with another one of the coach's clients. He is one of the regulars out at the trail who routinely kicked my ass in running. I have to say, running with a partner makes the run go by quick as hell. I was scheduled for six and his wife had a different workout planned so he asked coach to ask me if I wanted to join him. The problem was I did not remember his name and thought I was going to be running with a total stranger. When I pulled up in the parking lot I saw a shirtless guy standing there with some of the shortest American flag running shorts I have ever seen. "Fu*& me", I thought, "there is no way in hell I am running with that guy". Lucky for me I saw the guy I ended up running with and new him immediately from the trails.

Thursday's run started out in Main St. Daphne and meandered through some of the neighborhoods and parks that feed off the street. The guy showed me where some water fountains and bathrooms were along the route in case an emergency ever arose and the run went pretty fast. We ran at a slower pace than what I am used to but that is probably because we kept talking the whole time. I am not sure if I committed a running foul by doing so, but continuously talking was easier than listening to me grunting the whole way (I am accustomed to listening to music and drowning out my loud efforts at breathing). The experience was good and I will probably start completing other group runs on Thursday nights. I will not, however, run with the guy in the short, short American flag "panties".

The long run for this week is ten miles, and I will try my best to get it in even though I will be on vacation starting Friday. I am not going anywhere special, but running while on vacation sounds communist. Tonight I am at the track, Tuesday is six miles and Wednesday is a break.

Hopefully, the heat will not be bad this week.

The track, losing and other runs...

"Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I c[an] run like the wind blows." Forrest Gump suckers.

Monday's run at the track was a breeze compared to trail running. Coach had us complete running exercises known as 200's which basically consists of sprinting around the track for 200 meters and then jogging the rest of the way for a recovery. We did a total of twelve laps with the goal of repeating your speed each time you sprinted the 200 meters. After including warm up and cool down laps I ran a total of eighteen laps, which is roughly four and a half miles.

My speed stayed consistent between 40 seconds and 44 seconds to complete 200 meters. I thought I did pretty well and even lapped three of the people who regularly kicked my butt at the trails. I can really feel my running strength getting better.

The only downside to the exercises was that we were sharing the track with the Bayside football team. Nothing will make you fill sillier than exercising and wheezing in front of a bunch of in shape, testosterone breathing teenagers. Those guys motors did not stop and they thankfully moved their practice to the inside of the track soon after we got started.

There was also some competition on the track that motivated me to race harder. A group of kids (who looked between the ages of eight and twelve) were using the track to practice relay races. I was fortunate to start at the same time or right at the same time as some of the kids on different occasions. What did I do? Did I go about my own way and ignore the little guys? Heck no, I sprinted my ass off to show those little bastards up of course. On one of the occasions, I actually came right up behind the little kid and jumped into the second lane right as I was passing him. I bet I scared the crap out of the little guy but at least he did not beat me. Hey, he has to learn to lose at some point, and I am the perfect person to teach him.

On Tuesday I had to run four miles and after warming up for the first mile, I ran the final three in about twenty six minutes. My five k time is really coming down from where it was in March. I wish I could redo the Seeds five k tomorrow to erase that shameful time from my name. Remember kids, race results are forever.

Wednesday was a rest day so I hit the gym. Tonight is a six miler, Friday is a four miler, Saturday is a five miler and Sunday is the longest run of my life, nine miles. Hopefully I can get up early enough to not get heat stroke.

Learning to run like a penguin...

I made all of my runs this week and once again opted to bust out my long run on the treadmill due to the horrible heat and humidity that characterized this weekend's weather. To make up for it, I completed two of my runs this week out at a hilly area I have affectionately named the "bowl". The nickname was given because the area is a one mile stretch of side walk that starts downhill on one end and goes uphill on the other end. The hills are roughly a quarter mile in length, tough and never provide an easy workout.

For Saturday's five miler, I decided to run at the "bowl" and extend the run all the way down to Highway 98. What a bad idea. That run was one of the hardest I have ever had to complete due to the combination of heat and the fact that the uphills heading towards 98 are so long and steep. At one point it felt like I was running up a 45 degree incline for twenty minutes.

I also ran at the "bowl" for Friday's three miler, and ran my regular course out in downtown Daphne for Thursday's six miler. Nothing really eventful occurred during the runs, except for a further progression of a little injury I picked up during last Sunday's 8 miler.

I never ran 8 miles before that Sunday. I also did not realize that running on a treadmill required me to run with a narrower leg spacing than I normally do while running outside. After I finished last Sunday's run I noticed that I had chaffed a tiny bit. This tiny bit turned to a lot after yesterday's run. I guess this occurred because of the distance and because I foolishly decided to wear regular workout clothes, not running shorts, to the YMCA yesterday to work out and then complete my run. Bad mistake, cotton underwear makes chaffing worse, not better...oops. The latter half of my run was spent with me doing my best impersonation of a penguin for four miles.

I have also discovered that none of the stores in Baldwin County sell Runner's glide. For a laugh, go up and ask someone at a grocery store where body lube is located without having them laugh at you for being a pervert. "No, I swear, all I am looking for is some lube to help me run"....them, "okay, try the warming sensation lube over by the condoms...its great". A quick google search yielded me with a possible solution in the form of Vaseline. Now all I have to do is explain to the wife why I left an opened bottle of Vaseline on the counter after I came out of the locked bathroom.

This week breaks down pretty nice with no trails and a long run of 9 miles. Today I head out to meet the coach at the track, and am hoping that the workout is nothing like the trails. Fingers are crossed.

New schedule and owning the last trail run...

I received my new schedule on Tuesday and was surprised to see that I will be running twelve miles by the end of July. I am glad that my mileage is increasing but my coach obviously forgot that I told him I would be on vacation beginning the 18th of July. Instead of slacking off of the mileage as he said he would, he made my hardest week of running take place during that period of time. Hopefully I will be able to complete a lot of the runs.

The trails this week went great. The rain on Monday really helped pack in the loose sand that we had been running on. It also helped lower the temperatures and humidity and I had my best trail run yet. I am still thankful that we are leaving the trails and going to the track though. I am not sure I could handle anymore of the trail running.

I finished my Thursday 5 miler this morning and I have to admit the temperatures are starting to get really hot for 5:30 in the a.m.. I hope that little trend does not continue or else I will be getting up at 4:00 am and trying to get some sleep in after the run.

I have to run 4 miles on Friday and Saturday and I have to do a long run of 8 miles on Sunday. Happy Fourth of July to me. I wonder if ribs make a good running food?